JLA Does Absolutely Nothing
by Mr. BramStoker
Summary: Only three days before Easter so what does our favourite mixed up band of heroes do with their hard-earned free time? just do absolutely nothing, like how The Man Upstairs did on the seventh day
**JLA Doing Absolutely Nothing**

 **I don't own any Justice League characters being completely lazy and doing absolutely nothing at all**

"ah, we finally have a day off" Supergirl sighed happily as she vegged out in the lounge with her big sis Alex

"mm-hmm, just doing what we do best: nothing" Alex replied, nodding off and snoring loudly

"oh would you bums just get up?" Hawkgirl griped as Supergirl and Alex snoozed

"it's no use Shayera. They're out like the day the lights went out in Alabama" Hal remarked

"the night the lights went out in GEORGIA, dumbass" Hawkgirl snapped, slapping Hal up the head

"Oww! What the hey was THAT for?" Hal snapped, rubbing the back of his sore head

"That was for insulting my music idol Gladys Knight" Hawkgirl remarked

"what the? Shayera, Gladys Knight is BLACK, you're WHITE" Hal exclaimed

"you see my mace here? Can you still jabber after I shove it down your mouth?" Hawkgirl threatened

"shutting up now" Hal whimpered

"Our mission today: do absolutely nothing" Superman announced, everyone rejoicing

"ah, finally I get to follow in the footsteps of my idol Dexter Grif" Robin sighed happily

"Finally I get to shoot my insubordinate pathetic excuse for a partner" Batman chuckled, carrying his trusty shotgun

"uh-oh" Robin squeaked, running for dear life as the crazed Dark Knight chased him, laughing maniacally

"Mmm, Kara did you hear that?" Alex murmured, turning on her side

"nah. That was…that was just the vent pipes" Supergirl lazily yawned, going back to sleep

"oh look, if it isn't Lazy and Lazier just weighing out the springs on the sofa as usual" Catwoman snarked sarcastically

"mmm…" Alex snored loudly, Catwoman exhaling in defeat and leaving in an irate huff

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH" Robin screamed, running down the hallways, Batman in hot pursuit

"what the hey is the matter with HIM?" Lady Blackhawk asked

"oh, Batman's doin' his Red vs Blue thing again" Huntress answered

"pretending Robin's that Grif guy and chasing him all around the house with a shotgun that fires blanks?" Lady Blackhawk asked

"bingo" Huntress quipped

"OWWWWWW" Robin whined as he felt a blank shotgun shell pierce him in the ass

"this is the best game since Drake-ball" Batman exclaimed loudly

"aww poor Timmy…" Zatanna whined as Robin limped into the living room

"ok kids, lunch time" Hippolyta announced, everyone trampling over Robin as they made a mad dash into the dining room…except for a snoozing Kara and Alex

"hey how come Kara and Alex ain't sittin' with us?" Vigilante asked

"oh they're being lazy. It's part of our mission today" Hippolyta answered, passing Black Mask the gravy

"yuck! Gravy is so disgusting" Black Mask retched in disgust

"oh quit whining and try some" Hippolyta snapped

"grrr…" Black Mask growled as he tried a spoonful of gravy and gulped it down painfully

"ulp… excuse me" Roman wheezed, dashing for the bathroom

…

"Mmm, Kara, did you hear that?" Alex said, deeply asleep

"Nuh-uh, must've… must've been…" Kara stammered, her eyes closing shut as she resumed her slumber

…

"This is the best day ever! Just loiter around in the whole Watchtower, do nothing, just be lazy and just…. Do nothing" Linda exclaimed happily as she and Lois had their feet massaged by Guy and Hal

"dude, you owe me BIG TIME for suckering me into this" Guy hissed, Lois smacking him

"Shaddup and keep rubbing" Lois moaned, sipping her wine

"so… anyone we need to take out today?" Giganta asked

"nope. None whatsoever" Hawkgirl answered, lounging in her hammock

"ok, that's good. I could use a nice siesta" Giganta replied, laying her head down and drifting off to sleep

…

"ah, nothin' but a nice warm bubble bath" Livewire sighed blissfully, relaxing in the bathtub with Volcana

"Mm-hmm. And we got nothin else to do today" Volcana agreed, yawning as she snored softly

"good job, girls! Good job looking lazy and doing nothing" Hippolyta cheered as Alex and Kara drooled on the couch

"oh for the love of… that couch cost me $12,000 plus taxes and tip plus shipping and handling" Red Hood griped

"Mmm…" Supergirl moaned sexily, drooling on the couch pillow

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Red Hood yelled in outrage as he walked off in a huff

"oh yeah, this is great! Best of all, we get PAID to do nothing" Zsasz cheered

"Hey! That's MY money, you loony tune! Gimme that" Killer Croc, swiping the bills from Zsasz

"Phooey" Zsasz remarked, spitting on the floor

"oh great! Now you're spitting on my $8,000 bear rug carpet" Red Hood complained

"Mmm…Jason do you own EVERYTHING in this house?" Alex sleepily asked, opening her eye

"why yes I do. Now you and Princess Slobber get off of my couch this instant" Red Hood ordered

"no can do. Me and buttercup called dibs on this" Alex teased, Red Hood's face turning…well, red

"fine! Just… fine!" Red Hood exhaled, walking off, grumbling to himself

"ah, I always win my arguments" Alex said proudly, yawning as she laid back on the couch pillow and went back to sleep

"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ" Supergirl snored extremely loudly

"ugh… this is getting very, very, very, VERY boring" Flash complained as Linda snored loudly on her bed

"Aw be more cheerful, would you?" Nightwing smirked, drinking a mug of A&W root beer

"URRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPP" Jade belched after drinking a Mountain Dew Code Red

"Geez-a-loo Jade! That was loud enough to break the sound barrier" Hal remarked

"really?" Jade asked delightedly

"don't encourage her" Kyle scolded, slapping Hal upside the head

"HEY! What is up with people slapping me in the head today?" Hal asked in annoyance

"mmm… probably a running gag…" Supergirl said in her sleep, snoring some more

"yeah, like Kara said" Hal said

"Mmm…yeah, yeah right there, mmm… ooh, oh Cat, that feels so good…" Supergirl moaned in her sleep

…

"well honey I filed all the insurance bills and everything else in the house for today" Two-Face exhaled

"oh good for you, dear. Oh darling, don't forget we have our Seder dinner tonight" Hippolyta reminded

"Awww for cryin' out loud, not again! The food there is so disgusting" Two-Face complained

"oh come on Harvey, you wanna serve a good example for the children, do you?" Hippolyta asked

"ugh… ok, fine, I'll go" Two-Face grumbled irately

"thank you sweetie, you're such a responsible husband" Hippolyta giggled, kissing Two-Face's cheek

"ok everyone we're off to the Seder dinner. Diana, Helena, you're in charge of babysitting the others. Ok I love you" Hippolyta called

"so… what now?" Supergirl asked, her and Alex awake from their couch nap

"um… I don't know. Just… do whatever…as long as it isn't dangerous" Diana said

"KK" Supergirl responded, showing her trademark innocent cheerful smile

…

…

"Naptime" Supergirl yawned, plopping into her bed

"Aw buttercup, it's almost dinnertime" Alex whined, shaking Kara's shoulder. But Supergirl was fast asleep, snoring away

"aw… such an angel" Alex cooed, getting under the comforter and laying on the pillow across from Kara.

"Goodnight buttercup" Alex cooed, kissing Kara's forehead as she pulled the comforter closer over her as she nodded off

…

"well the lights in Kara's and Alex's room are off, so I'm assuming they went to bed early" Helena remarked, having just checked on the sleeping twins

"oh well it's ok, I'll be sure to save some of this for them when they wake up" Diana said, serving everyone a plateful of lasagna

…

…

"Diana just texted me, dear, Kara and Alex put themselves to bed for the night" Hippolyta whispered to Harvey

"huh? Oh, oh, good for them" Harvey responded, taking a bite of his filet mignon

"how is it honey?" Hippolyta asked, Harvey making loud grunting noises as he swallowed

"it's…. it's so-so" Harvey wheezed, his throat salty from the mignon's taste

"oh I'm so glad, darling! Now I know just what to make for Easter dinner" Hippolyta cheered, Two-Face's eyes widening in horror

…

…

"yup, Alex and Kara are totally out for the night. I heard them snoring all the way upstairs" Jade said

"huh. Guess they were pretty tired" Diana said, reading her latest Amazons Weekly magazine

"so… wanna go somewhere more… private?" Jade asked as Kyle got up from the dinner table

"I'd thought you'd never ask" Kyle grinned, him and Jade kissing passionately as they walked into the private room

…

"and now I know why He prefers abstinence over just the old fashioned quickie" Diana muttered

"say what now?" Livewire asked, popping up from behind the couch

"AAAAAAA" Diana shrieked, hiding her face with the pillow

"Oh my gosh, you should've seen your face! It was PRICELESS" Livewire snickered

"grrr…." Diana growled, getting up

"so… whatcha doing?" Livewire asked playfully

"oh just reading my latest magazine before Giganta gets home so we can…" Diana started before immediately dropping the punchline in disgust

"no follow up?" Livewire asked

"well I could, but then we'd have to give this fanfic a mature rating" Diana reminded

"ah, gotcha" Livewire said, understanding what Diana meant

…

…

"what the hey is THAT supposed to be?" Two-Face asked as he and Hippolyta eyed the main course

"that's escargot, it's the pastor's most famous creation" Hippolyta answered, Two-Face feeling his face turn green

"um… you sure we can't give this to Firefly or Croc?" Two-Face asked pathetically

"Harvey Apollo Prince, you will eat the escargot or there will be no…" Hippolyta started before realizing younger readers were reading this

"what? No follow-up?" Two-Face asked

"I could, but then we'd have to give this fanfic a mature rating" Hippolyta explained

"ah, I read you loud and clear" Two-Face said, drinking his brandy

"excuse me sir, but you're drinking the communion wine" a priest said, Two-Face's eyes widening in horror

…

"ZZZZZZZZZZZZ" Wonder Woman snored loudly, drooling all over her bra and her bracelets

"oy… her snoring is just as loud as Firefly's flamethrower" Livewire griped

"ohhh my what a great nap" Alex yawned, she and Supergirl walking into the dining room, both of their jaws dropping in awe of the feast that laid before them

"now that I think of it, I am a BIT hungry…" Supergirl asked, rubbing her belly

"me too. Wanna have a little dinner?" Alex purred, both sitting at the dinner table

"what the hey? I thought you two were in bed" Livewire gasped in shock

"we were hungry" Supergirl replied, chowing down on a breadstick

"oh. Hey Diana! The twins are up and now they're eatin' all the leftovers" Livewire hollered, Diana deeply asleep

"what'd she say?" Alex asked in between a mouthful as Livewire lifted Diana's left arm, only to see it plop down

"she's out, kids, zonked out like the night the lights went out in Georgia" Livewire announced  
ugh, FINALLY someone gets it right! Thank you" Hawkgirl exclaimed across from the room

"and I didn't get slapped in the head this time" Hal added, Livewire smacking him up the head playfully

…

"I spoke too soon, didn't I?" Hal sighed

…

"Ok kids we're home and…aww Harvey look, the twins are up" Hippolyta cooed as Kara and Alex were both sound asleep from their dinner

"Aww they put themselves to sleep. What little angels" Hippolyta cooed, shaking Kara's and Alex's shoulders

"they are all tuckered out, aren't they?" Harvey yawned, splashing himself in the face with water to try to stay awake

"Mm-hmm. Oof! And they're pretty heavy" Hippolyta grunted, scooping up Supergirl as Livewire grabbed Alex

"I take it Diana's sleeping on the couch tonight?" Hippolyta asked as Diana snored loudly on the couch

"…what do you think?" Giganta deadpanned, jumping onto the couch and cuddling with her lover

"don't even bother asking" Livewire remarked, walking up the stairs, Alex hoisted on her shoulder

…

….

"mmm, happy early Easter, Hal" Carol yawned, kissing Hal on the lips as she turned off her light and went to bed

"goodnight honey" Hal yawned, going to sleep, Kyle smacking Hal with a pillow

"Gah! Dammit, Kyle" Hal growled, Kyle and Jade snickering

"oh just relax Hal, he IS your brother. And don't forget you both share your DNA" Jade remarked from the top bunk

"oy… I better pray to Hera I get through springtime" Hal moaned, laying down on the pillow

….

"Tommy? Tommy?" Sheila asked, shaking Hush awake

"wha? What is it? Did Jason get stuck in the fridge?" Hush mumbled

"no darling. Zsasz is in our bed again" Sheila said as Hush saw his brother sleeping in the middle between Hush and Sheila

"yeah? He doesn't have a bedroom yet. What's the big deal?" Hush asked

"he's naked" Sheila remarked as Hush's eyes widened in horror as he felt the chilling touch of Zsasz's warm leg

"remind to tell Roman to build a room for him…and also get him some clothes" Hush said

…

"Coming to bed, Roman?" Circe asked, doing her Gotham Weekly crossword puzzle as Black Mask was shaving himself before bed

"in a sec, dear" Roman said, gargling before exiting the bathroom and getting into bed and laying across from his wife

"so… have you got me a little Easter present?" Circe asked lustily  
"you'll get it first thing in the morning" Roman promised, kissing Circe goodnight as he laid down

…

"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…" Dinah snored loudly as Helena slept more quietly

…

"mmm, keep rubbing Wally" Linda said, turning on her side as Wally begrudgingly rubbed her feet, determined to keep his half-closed eyes open

…

"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ" Kate snored loudly, Neron wearing noise-cancelling earmuffs

….

"Ok, Batman's probably asleep by now. So… I win" Robin said in relief

"guess again, meatsack" an all-too-familiar voice chuckled, aiming a very familiar shotgun at Robin's head

"…why me?" Robin moaned, screaming hysterically as Batman chased him

"HAPPY EASTER, DIRTBAG" Batman hollered, laughing maniacally, firing shell after shell


End file.
